that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
