Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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