after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize