I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
