i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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