it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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