: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
