Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
