Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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