Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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