i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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