brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize