Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
