He is an equal opportunity slut.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
