But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
