everyone is single if you try hard enough
i think i have herpe
just one?
there was a trapeze. enough said
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
