Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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