we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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