He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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