I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We have so much sex to catch up on
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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