oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
