that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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