Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
