I cannot find my penis.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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