i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
