Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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