We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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