he thought i was a dude.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
