Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
