Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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