His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize