I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
