She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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