do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
