BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
