Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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