how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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