Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Randomize