i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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