So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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