We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
