You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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