mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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