she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
