I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
