im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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