Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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