If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
