I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Randomize
