she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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