If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
