Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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