also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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