You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
