I think I am morally bankrupt
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
is it fun? or sober?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
