Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
