so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
