I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
