whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
